your parents love me but you hate me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
