my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Buhtt sex?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
