i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Welp...herpes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
