I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Barsexuality is the new black.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
