WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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