Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
