nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
cat food counts as protein by the way
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
