New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
