she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I understand Curling. That high.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
