called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
