there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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