After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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