i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
