How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
