he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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