I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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