Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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