she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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