It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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