I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
