i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
