No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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