quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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