Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
