this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
