Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
