I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
