"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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