it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's the barista slut.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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