I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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