Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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