Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
