I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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