You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
