Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
