Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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