I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
