i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
