call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
