Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
