Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
