This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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