i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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