I look better un-naked...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
