How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
