Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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