I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
