The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
