i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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