she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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